Hi everyone and welcome to "Another Attack of Jordan's Brides" story...to fully understand the story you must read the previous "Attack of Jordan's Brides"...I've provided a link to the story...have fun reading it...don't take it too seriously and keep stopping by to check for more story ;)

Another Attack of Jordan’s Brides

It was a sunny June afternoon as Jordan stepped out his front door to head to the studio at Mighell’s. He was about to get into his car when he noticed a blue El Camino driving past his house very slowly…not taking any chances he got in his car and locked the doors…ever since he had let JKStaff announce that he’d been working on a new song, the fans hadn’t left him alone. He wasn’t entirely sure how so many fans had his phone number, but for days they had been leaving him messages…thanking him for saving their lives with this gift he was about to bestow upon them…
“Why does it have to be the freaks calling me?” Jordan asked himself as he applied eyeliner in the rear-view mirror. He put on his blonde wig and winked at his reflection. “Even as a chick—you are one hot dude. My GOD I turn myself on…do I have time? No Mighell is waiting.”
Jordan continued mumbling to himself about the stans following him and calling him 24/7. He had been dreaming about his fans lately and the hell they used to put him through…he missed it a bit, he had to admit to himself. But he missed the Implifiers the most…he missed everything about them…when they used to make him wear a thong and wife beater while he washed the bus…the times they tied him up and made him crawl on all fours around the Implifier’s Club—naked and blindfolded—playing with the rotties…
“Their noses were COLD! Damn!” He said it with a smile as he pulled into Mighell’s driveway. He exited the vehicle and walked up to the front door. Suddenly, Mighell burst out of the house and charged toward Jordan, arm raised in the air. As he got to Jordan, his hand came down and slapped Jordan across the back of his head. Jordan let out a girlie cry.
“Ahh…you promised you wouldn’t hit me anymore. YOU PROMISED!!” Jordan screeched.
“Well if you would do what you’re told then I wouldn’t have to get physical with you.”
“NO! NOT THAT AGAIN!” Jordan said with fear in his eyes.
“Don’t worry porkychop…I have fresh meat in the basement…you’re safe for awhile.”
“Fresh meat? WHO DO YOU HAVE MIGS?!”
“Remember that William dude from Lawtown?”
“Yeah.”
“Well he’s lounging in my sex-swing in the basement right now.”
“OMG! That’s MY swing!!”
“Don’t worry…you’ll get it back tomorrow. Now let’s go inside.”
“OK master Mighell.”
The two men went inside the house and shut the door behind them. Jordan could smell something funky coming from the kitchen.
“What the HELL is that? That reeks!” Jordan exclaimed.
“Well—Jdot gave me her recipe for her special brownies…but I think I added to much arsenic.”
“O—K?”
“Want one? They’re almost cool enough to eat.”
“No thanks buddy—you fill your boots!”
“Ah well—you’re loss.”
“Yes it will be,” Jordan mumbled.
“What was that?”
“Oh—ah, I said, ‘Nice chimney’.”
“Thanks! But you needn’t praise me—I already know I have a nice asshole. And compliments like that would have been better demonstrated last weekend.”
“I told you I don’t do that sort of thing!”
“Only when you’re drunk right?”
“NO! Only when you have bound and gagged me with your jock strap! Gees!”
“Whatever…you know you liked it. Let’s go work on that new song of yours.”
Jordan and Mighell walked down the basement steps and into the makeshift recording studio. William was swinging away in the corner…eyes rolled back, drool dripping from his chin.
“Um…is he OK?” Jordan asked.
“Oh yeah…he’s just stoned from the brownies…I let him test one.”
“OK…time for a change of subject…so what are we working on today?”
“You tell me? I don’t write the stupid songs.”
“OK…well I’ve been working on one…I think you’re gonna like it.”
“OK…let’s here it.”
“Well it’s got this really cool intro beat like someone bangin’ on your door at three o’clock in the morning then it goes, ‘Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh’…then you repeat that a few times then it goes, ‘Get outta my bushes.’”
“Get outta my bushes?”
“Yeah…cool huh!”
“Are you on crack?”
“You don’t like it?”
“What…else do you have?”
“Well…I have been working on something else…it’s a bit slower…but it has the same intro beat…but the first verse goes, ‘You, you, you, you, you’…and again you repeat that line twice and then it goes, ‘Stop calling me.’”
“You’re kidding right? You have to be kidding me…I mean you have to have something that we can send to the radio stations without getting laughed at.”
“Well…I have one more…and it’s really sad…it…(sniff, sniff)…always brings a tear to my eye when I sing it…”
“Alright…let me hear it…”
“OK…just let me regain my composure…ahem…OK…it goes, ‘Imps…where have you gone…why hath thou forsaken me? Please don’t say that our love is gone forever….oh oh oh oh…Imps…where are you right now…why have you left me here? Please tell me that you’re coming back and that you’ll never leave me ever…again…’; I’m sorry…I can’t stop crying…whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…ah, (hiccup)…pffffffftttttttt….ahhhhh….(sniff, sniff)…and the irony of it all…is that the name of the song is… ‘Don’t Cry’…it’s like a present to myself…whaaaaaaaaaaa…..”
Mighell reached out and slapped Jordan across the face. Jordan screeched, “Ahhhh…pfffffffttttt….whad ya do that for?”
“Get ahold of yourself man!!”
“I’m sorry…I’ll be OK now…”
“Ok,” Mighell began, “I have a plan…we’ll take that last song you sang…change the word ‘Imp’ to ‘Sarah-Joy’ and we’ll release it as a single…and we’ll record a remake of ‘Wake Me Up Before You Go GO’…that should buy us about a year…we’ll keep telling everyone that you’re new CD will be out very soon…in the meanwhile we can charge your fans $50 to watch live web cam broadcasts of me milking the cow…”
“You shouldn’t talk about Sarah-Joy that way…”
”Shut up!! Yes that’s IT!!!”
“I don’t know Mighell…I don’t think it’s a good idea…”
“Think? Did I ask you to think? You just concentrate on working those pecs into shape…”
“But…but…I like my man boobies…they bounce when I run…I like to pretend I’m on Baywatch…I have a blonde wig!” Jordan was beginning to think that Mighell was losing his mind…his love of money was taking over his love of himself! And that was the greatest crime of all!!
“You may go now…I have to go spank William”

Jordan was driving back to his house when he realized something must be done about Mighell…but then he caught site of himself in the mirror and lost his train of thought…he pulled over to the side of the road and began squeezing his man boobies…this usually helped him think better...
“Ah HA!!” Jordan exclaimed. “I know what I’ll do…I’ll go to the Implifier’s Club and ask them to help!” Jordan let go of his boobies and sped back into traffic.

Five minutes later Jordan was standing at the front door staring at a sign that had been posted…it read, “All dogs must use back entrance”.
“Hmmm…guess I’ll use the back door.” Jordan walked around to the back of the building and stepped in a giant pile of dog doodie. “SHIT!!”
“Great observation,” said a very female voice from behind him. Jordan spun around and slipped in the poo in the process. He fell flat on his ass…in the kaka. “Good job.” It was Jdot!! Jordan was so happy to see her that he started crying. He rose to his feet and reached his arms out to her. “Hold on cowboy! I’m not hugging you with crap all over your pants.”
“I could take them…(sniff sniff)…off…”
“Ah…sure why not…take em off…”
Jordan took his pants off and reeched his arms out to Jdot once more…
“Ah…not yet…now take off the shirt.” Jordan pulled off his shirt. “Oh GOD! Put it back on…PUT IT BACK ON!!!”
Jordan put the shirt back on and stood in front of Jdot with his arms hanging limp at his sides.
“OK…fine…come here…” Jdot opened her arms and Jordan fell into them, sobbing heavily into her shoulder. “I know…it’s ok…Jdot is here now…it’s ok…yeah…alright that’s enough, you’re getting snot on my ‘Proud to be Claynadian’ shirt.”
“Sorry…(sniff sniff)…that’s a really nice shirt…he’s very cute…”
“I know he is boobie boy…but you can’t have him…too many of us share him already…not enough to go around…so tell me…why are you here after all this time?”
“I came here for help,” Jordan said as he blew his nose onto his Powerpuff Girls baby doll t-shirt.
“Help with what?”
“Mighell has gone crazy…I don’t what to do…he keeps beating me…and he…huh…huh…doesn’t like my songsssssssssss….whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa” Jordan was sobbing uncontrollably. Jdot slapped him across the face.
“Get a hold of yourself man!!! If you want our help you’ll have to at least pretend you are a man…I know those massive man-titties can’t help but you are still a man!”
“I know…I know…I’m fine…can you help me?”
“Hell no!! I can’t help you…but as a group the Implifiers might be able to help you…but just to let you know…the club isn’t open anymore…we just hang out here from time to time….today happens to be one of those times so I suppose today is your lucky day. Let’s go inside.”

Jordan followed Jdot through the back door into the dark club. They went into the main club area and turned right to go down the stairs. It had been months since Jordan was here and he was filled with a renewed fear that was not unfamiliar to him. The Implifiers always perplexed him somehow…and he would always fear that which he did not know…which was just about everything when it came to the Implifiers.
As they approached their destination Jordan could here laughter and talking coming from somewhere. They reached the velvet curtain and Jordan watched as Jdot pushed it aside—they entered a smoke filled room and silence fell over the small crowd gathered at a large table in the center of the room. Jordan’s eyes darted from Implifier to Implifier…he was so excited to see them.
“MOKA! AVANTITTIE! FOXXXXXY! KELSIE12000! STACY!” He could not control his excitement and he felt something warm dribble down his leg. All five women looked down to the puddle on the floor at Jordan’s feet. “I’m so sorry…I got excited…I’ll clean it up.”
“Do you smell something?” Ava asked Moka.
“Yeah…fear.” They all laughed outloud. It was music to Jordan’s ears.
“No seriously,” Ava said, “I smell dog isht.”
“Yeah me too,” Stacy said, “I think it’s him.” Stacy pointed to Jordan who was wiping up the puddle of urine with his discarded jeans.
“Ladies?” Jdot began, “Jordan has come to ask for our help.”
“What!!” They all exclaimed.
“After everything we did for him before….and he dissed us like that…no way no how!” Moka stood and crossed her arms.
“What are you talking about?” Jordan asked. “You guys dissed me!”
“No we dint,” Ava said, rising to stand next to Moka.
“But, but…Mighell told me you guys didn’t like me anymore…so I stopped going to the site…I was in hell!!! I missed you so much!!!!”
“Um…escuse me? Mighell told us that you called us Stans behind our backs!” Jdot shoved Jordan away.
“I NEVER! I wouldn’t insult you like that!”
Moka looked at the small group of women. “Sounds like he’s telling the truth…what should we do?”
“Let’s put it to a vote,” Ava said, “All in favor of helping the pimple on our asses, say, ‘AYE’”
“AYE!”
“AYE!”
“AYE!”
“AYE!”
“AYE!”
“AYE!”
“It’s official,” Moka said, “The Implifiers are back in action!!!” The group cheered and hugged each other. Jordan stood back imagining them all naked. He gave his head a shake as they began walking toward him.
“What the hell are you doing? Put that away! How many times do I have to tell you…” Ava yelled at Jordan and slapped his hand.
“Sorry,” Jordan said as he hung his head and returned the lion to it’s cage.
“That’s better…now how can we help you butterball?”
“It’s Mighell…I don’t think he’s taking his anti ‘Take Over The World’ medication. I’m really scared.”
“Well…there’s really only one thing we can do…” Jdot said.
“What?” The group said in unison.
“Make Mighell believe that we are his slaves…we have to get on the inside…trap him on home ice…he’ll think he has the advantage but then we’ll STRIKE!!”
“AHH!” Jordan jumped at Jdot’s exclamation.
“Jdot, you’re a genius sweetie!”
“I know Kelly Kelly…I know…OK…let’s do it!!”


Well that's all I have for now...check back soon for more!
- posted by Poor Mom @ 7:32 PM